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Get your face on!

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Wild haired asian landscape

I wonder how men feel in the morning when they wake up next to their wives. Do they think “WOW – I made the right choice” or are they frightened each time they open their eyes?

Women everywhere love their make-up. Even those who do not wear make-up or wear as much as the next woman still care somewhat about her appearance. No one would go out of their house looking as they do when they first roll out of bed. Bed-hair is cute but only if it’s done right! I sure as hell don’t want to see King Kong every morning when I wake up!

A friend of mine once said to me that before she gets married, she would make sure that the guy she was marrying saw her ‘fully’ (that is without her make-up!) before she agreed to marrying him. That is because her greatest fear is having her husband wake up next to her and be afraid of what he saw. She goes to bed with her makeup completely wiped off, her head-scarf tied on real tight, and looking like something out of Scary Movie 3.

For her that is not what she wants her husband to see every morning. She understands that men are very visual creatures and need to be attracted to what they see. She doesn’t want a scenario where her husband no longer thinks she’s sexy simply because he knows what she looks like without her safety net – her makeup!

When she first made this statement, I found it hilarious. Thinking back on it however, I find it to be startlingly true. I wouldn’t want to be fooled into thinking I was getting a package I wasn’t. How many people out there have ordered an item out of a catalogue and when it was delivered, it looked nothing like the picture that was advertised? Do you keep it – or do you send it back faster than you can say UPS?!

I know what I’ll do and it’s just the sad fact that it works the same in relationships. No one wants to be deceived by the make-up, the weave, the fake nails or the fake eyelashes. An episode of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ best exemplifies this. In that episode, Will Smith thought he was in love with a beautiful girl till he got stuck with her in a locked basement. With no way out, he had no choice but to deal with the ‘real’ person behind the make-up. Her fake nails, fake hair and fake everything else was all revealed and led to the unravelling of that relationship.

True to form, this works the same in ‘real-life’. I know I don’t want to meet someone who I think I’m attracted to only to find that the very things I thought made up that person were all plastic. That can put a real damper on things.

Another friend of mine never goes to bed until everyone else is asleep. That is because she doesn’t want anyone to see her without her make-up. She also makes sure she rises before everyone else so she can apply her make-up so when people see her, it is with her ‘face’ on. Surely you can see how this would prove a problem. How do you live with such a person? How do you develop or maintain any kind of initimacy with her when she is so afraid to show her true face to you?

For the men who have to endure this, surely the women could have been more honest before putting themselves out there as possessing all these qualities that they lack. If you know you have a weave in your hair, wear it with pride but don’t lie and let the guy believe it’s all yours only for you to remove it before going to bed all the while expecting him to understand.

Men are moved by what they see. We all say that we want good men, the kind that stays for the long run. The kind that compliments you; the kind that pampers and cares for you.

Well the men too want women that are REAL. Women that are not afraid to show themselves as they are – confident that when they do, they would still be beautiful. Women that are honest about what they have to offer and don’t feel they have to overcompensate in any area. The kind of woman that makes you smile first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. The kind that you can be confident won’t change into a different person once the lights go down!

One Comment »

  • Na said:

    Boyfriend says I´m always beautiful, with and without make up. And he specially likes it when I wake up and start noticing my surroundings.

    I can´t understand those women who won´t allow the person closest to them to see them the way they really are. There must be some underlying issues there (insecurities, lack of trust, etc)

    And this is coming from a make-up lover who swears by her Benefit products!!

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