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Summer’s always a fun season because you can be guaranteed to find a couple fighting on a street corner.  The poor guy, having fallen prey and then gotten caught staring at a scantily dressed female, is getting an earful from his other half.  Attempting to defend himself, he ends up making things worse.  Where does it end?

I often witness fights that stem from one party, usually the guy, staring at the mumerous females lining the street in the summer wearing nothing but their bra and panties.  Surely one can understand how this could prove tempting to the man who is a visual creature and having to contend with all the different flavours laid bare in front of him.

Don’t get me wrong.  This is not behaviour I condone.  But let’s look at it from the guy’s perspective for once.

It’s a nice summer’s day, one that’s rare if you live in England.  The sun is out and you are restless just wanting to soak it in and have fun.  Whatever.  The point is – the sun is out.  You put on your tee-shirt and jeans and get in your car with the top down and go for a drive.  On your way, you call your girlfriend or wife and decide to pick her up so you guys can have a nice day out together.

After picking her up, you decide to go to a location of her choice to do whatever she pleases – as long as its outside.  On your way, you get stopped at the traffic light.  As you wait for the lights to change, a pretty yet half naked girl crosses the road in front of your car.  Now you have the top down so you get a full view of her walking slowly past your car.  Because she is wearing next to nothing and the little she has on is see-through, you just can’t help but stare in amazement.

As you were caught unaware and was not intentionally meaning to stare, you did not anticipate the dirty slap you felt against the back of your head.  It came from your woman and she is mad as hell at you.

She is furious and questioning how you could possibly disrespect her like that.  She is close to tears just wondering what would make you stare as you did.  All the while you are sitting there reeling from the pain and shock of her attack.  You are baffled because you only looked for a minute.

I’m guessing everyone reading this gets the general picture.  Who is to blame?  By the way, the couple in question (and this is a true story by the way!) are still stopped at the traffic light holding everyone else up while they have their domestic.

Like I said, I don’t condone such behaviour but surely you can understand it.  Shouldn’t some blame though be placed on the girl who caused this argument?  She’s the one who left her house forgetting to put some clothes on.  The guy was just responding as a hundred others would have done.  He didn’t mean any disrespect – his eye sight was violated and he ended up paying the price.

OK so I hear the ladies everywhere screaming that the fact the girl was wearing close to nothing doesn’t mean the guy has to look.  I agree.  But how many times have you been walking down the street with your man and seen a fine looking guy in a nice car drive past.  Did you not strain your neck just to catch a glimpse?

Are you justified then because you are the woman and “it’s not the same for women”?  If that’s the case, then you can understand that men and women are made up differently and guys are moved by what they see.  So if girlfriend is strutting her stuff across the street, expect him to look.

Slow your roe.  I’m not saying that’s the way it should be.  I’m merely stating that there can be no double standards at play here.  Let’s get back to the couple and their dilemma.

Every relationship out there must be built on a foundation of love, trust and respect.  If there is no respect in a relationship, there is bound to be abuse.  If your woman doesn’t respect you, she would constantly cuss you out in front of your friends and anyone who would listen.

It’s the same with this issue.  A friend of mine once told me that for the sake of his relationship, he would never openly stare at other women; no matter their state of undress.  The key word here is OPENLY.  He claims that if he really wants to look, he would make a comment that would make his partner comfortable such as “Why would anyone leave her house looking like that?” Meaning they would both look at the perpetrator albeit for different reasons.

We, unfortunately, live in a world that is driven by sex and the works.  You can’t tie your man in the house though and say he can’t go out in the summer.  Neither can you predict how others are going to dress or behave.  The only factor you can control is you.

That is to say you can control the way you react when caught in a car and your man is checking out a girl across the street.  Instead of slapping him across the face, why not make your feelings known in a way that won’t hold up traffic?

Men and women alike need to be conscious of the feelings and emotions of those you claim to love and care about.  The value you place on that person is not reflected in your reaction to a half naked woman on the street or even the latest poster of Beyonce or Denzel when you openly stare and drool over them.

Maybe the principles we should be embracing are not those society at large deems acceptable but the one that puts the other person first.  Someone once told me that love is giving and serving.  That is to say that if you love someone, you constantly want to make him or her happy by giving of yourself.

So would it make your woman happy to see you drooling over another?  Would it make your man happy to feel the sting of your slaps?  You don’t have to think too long to come up with an answer.  The only solution that would work for both sides might be to start putting the other person first.  Before you do something detrimental to your relationship, stop and think if the person for whom you’re sacrificing it all for is really worth it?

Those few moments of looking might just cost you more than your relationship.  Summer is a season where people seem to let loose and in the process, forget to put on clothes.  While not everyone pays attention to it, guys and girls must learn the basic principles involved in maintaining a healthy relationship.  Love, trust and R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  So respect yourself and stop staring and respect your partner by not hitting.  Trust is severed if you do nothing but check out other people all day under the ridiculous guise of summer!  Love is nothing without these two factors so give a little and who knows?  You might gain it all in the process!

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