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Rediscovering your worth

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esanaHave you ever been put in a situation where you felt your true worth was not being appreciated? Ever had someone disrespect you to the point where you were no longer angry or vengeful, just calm and collected? Well, if you haven’t, I have.

It was recently that I started re-evaluating the relationships I hold dear.  There are times in our lives when we place certain people on pedestals and no matter what they do to us, we can’t get angry at them because we see them through rose-tinted glasses and therefore make excuses for their shortcomings.

It could be a relationship you’re in. The guy or girl is constantly abusing your love and getting away with it and you don’t even realise that they’re doing it because you have gotten so used to covering for them, even to yourself, that there is no standing your ground against them.

It could be a member of your family, a friend or even your boss. Whoever it is, you let them get away with murder. The things you wouldn’t stand for in other people you let them do to you either because of their status or just the way you see them.

I had such a relationship with a supposed friend of mine. This person, whom I’ll call Cream, was everything in my eyes. I felt Cream was the most
perfect person. So intelligent; so fine; had it all together. Every time Cream talked, I hung on to every word. In my mind, Cream was forever and so I treated Cream as though Cream was all I knew. No one else compared to Cream.

You can imagine caring about someone so much. All you want is for the person to care for you also but in the off chance that they don’t, you still hold on because to you, they’re worth it. So you start making excuses for the person though the things that they are doing are getting under your skin.  You allow the person to treat you worse than you deserve because in your mind, they couldn’t possibly mean it. To you, things would one day change and they would realise that they are madly in love with you and the things you do, and everything would somehow be alright.

But it doesn’t always work out that way. For those who don’t know, I am a priceless treasure. This means that you treat me as such. I am a gem to be found and cared for, not dirt to be discarded. This is not arrogance; it’s me simply setting the standard for how I expect to be treated. I demand nothing less than what I give out.

Back to Cream. Cream was high in my esteem so the little things that I wouldn’t stand for even with my closest family and friends, I took from Cream. Basic courtesy that I demand from even strangers, Cream neglected to show and I made excuses for it. Why? Because Cream was – well Cream!

Then one day it hit me. I don’t deserve to be treated like dirt – especially when I don’t treat you that way. I realise that I’m worth more, maybe not in your eyes but most certainly in God’s eyes! I refuse to be treated less than I’m worth simply because you feel you can get away with it. Well no more.

Once I made this choice, everything changed. I no longer cared if Cream was in a room or not. I was no longer shy in stating my opinion even if it was contrary to Cream’s opinions. And I most definitely did not shy away from stating it whenever Cream got me angry. In fact, I think it made the relationship better.

I believe that we as humans all deserve nothing less than basic courtesy and respect. No matter how lowly in status a person is, that person still
deserves your respect. I was so disrespected, and although the blame is partly mine for allowing and excusing such behaviour, it was totally
undeserved.

You don’t have to wait to get to the stage where you are so angry you snap before you demand to be treated as you deserve. For me, the fact that I am significant lifts my value and worth triple-fold. I know my worth and only demand that you treat me as you expect me to treat you. Any less and you run the risk of missing out on what could be the best friendship/relationship/companionship you could have ever experienced. Who wants to run that risk?

One Comment »

  • Ayo said:

    Thank you for this “brain food”, Random Wonders. You’re still showing how simple truth never fails to have impact!

    My favourite line? “I am a gem to be found and cared for, not dirt to be discarded. This is not arrogance; it’s me simply setting the standard for how I expect to be treated.” and “I realise that I’m worth more, maybe not in your eyes but most certainly in God’s eyes!”

    Beautifully honest and simple. Have a great day, RW.

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