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What women want

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coupleTake it easy now men!  Don’t just start by saying all women want is a man with a BMW – or any other expensive car for that matter – a good job and a wad of cash.  O and it helps if the man is tall, dark and handsome!  I heard my girlfriends and all women across the border screaming ‘YES PLEASE!’

Now ladies, there is nothing wrong with wanting a man that can take you out for a drive and cause every head to turn but is that all we really want?  As a female, it’s quite hard to stay unbiased on this one but I’ll try.

I can start by saying what I want but I know that I might not speak for every woman out there so let’s try and cover all grounds.  Surely women want more than the qualities stated above, although some of my girlfriends are yelling out ‘IT SURE DOES HELP THOUGH!’  There’s more to life and love than having a nice car or nice teeth.  What if you meet someone who has a nice car but lives in a rented apartment?  Would you feel he is financially secure and able to support you if need be?  Of course not!

Ok so the men are screaming ‘Why does it always have to be the man doing the supporting?’  Well, can I just say that we’re not talking about what men want now are we?  No I’m kidding.  The reason is because as much as women out there would hate to admit it, we know the role men and women are supposed to play in relationships.

Is that view old fashioned and slightly tarnished?  Maybe so.  This is the 21st century after all and there is a major surge in role reversals with the woman holding the reins and the men going along for the ride.  But I didn’t write the rulebooks so don’t take it out with me.  Men are the dominant ones (although some might say they are just dormant!?) or are supposed to be, and so therefore should be the ones doing the caring.

Just look at old Hollywood for example.  How many women in that time, with a man in the house, were worried after paying the bills, looking after the kids, cooking, and cleaning?  That’s right, a small number if any.  They might have been concerned with taking care of the home but not the mortgage too!  The men did that and left room for the woman to be the woman and take care of the man’s emotional and psychological needs!

Well before we get too far ahead, this is not the time to start debating the role of a man or a woman as dictated by society or anything else.  The focus is on asking ‘What do women really want?’

When I posed the question among people I knew, their initial responses were ‘from what?’  I believe that’s a good place to start.  Women, what do we really want from men, relationships and love?  If given the chance to create the perfect mate, what attributes and qualities would we allocate as core and absolutely necessary?  Would tall, dark and handsome be our only prerequisite to having a healthy, well-balanced relationship?  Or would we ask for more?

Would financial stability (and I don’t just mean that he has enough money to take you to ‘the Ritz’ for dinner!), kindness, a caring heart, sensitivity and qualities aimed more at caring for you and your needs as a woman take pre-eminence over those aimed at the superficial?  Most women are by now screaming ‘Of Course’ but can I add mine (I am a woman too after all!)?  I want all these things also but one request.  Can it come in a nice package too please?  There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to the person you’re with; you don’t meet the heart at first encounter do you?

I’m just trying to understand how the average woman’s mind works.  Is it divided into compartments where if you (as the man) fit at least one of the qualities in each compartment, you’re in with a shot?  Or is it black and white with no room for compromise or tailoring so as to asses each individual?

“He has to be tall”  ”He has to be blonde” “He must dress well”  ”He must be foreign” “He must have a nice nose”

Things like these are all well and good but is there room for compromise?  If this is one woman’s list, could he be blonde but short?  Would that be acceptable?  Or could he be tall and not foreign?  How about if he is everything listed above but has a crooked nose?  Are you going to pass up on getting to know him and maybe developing what could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you simply because he had a crooked nose or that’s he’s brunette instead of blonde?

So that leads us back to the question – Women, do we know what we really want?  I wish I could give a conclusive answer but I’m still considering that.  My view seems to change with everyone I meet.  What I can say is this, and put this on record, I do not want a man who’s pretty but shallow.  A man who is rich but stingy; who lives in a nice house but is in debt over his head; who has a nice car but is insensitive and unkind; who is witty but hurtful or who even has it all together but is disrespectful!  Do I hear an AMEN out there somewhere?!?

One Comment »

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