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Emotional Rollercoaster

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stammerMy head is still reeling from my weekend – so much so that I had to pen it down in an effort to understand the colossal pit of dung I find myself in.

To set the scene, I must take you back a few weeks.  You see I met this guy who simply put – took my breath away. He was HOTT. And friendly. And funny.  And easy to talk to. And down to earth.  He had such an easy-going aura about him that I was won over almost immediately.  We got to talking and we connected from the get-go. Many phone calls, emails and texts later, we finally decided to meet up one on one to hang out together.  Till that arrangement, whenever we’d see each other, it was always with a group of friends in tow.

I was beyond excited. I so wanted nothing more than to hang out with him. There was no pressure. I had always just been myself around him so I wasn’t nervous. I was elated at the thought of a few hours in his company. The agreement was that he would let me know the details on the day as he wasn’t sure of his plans. I had no problem with that.

I woke that morning after a relatively restless night with no word from him. As I had no reason to doubt the arrangement made, I assumed I was still seeing him and he would contact me once he was sure of how his day would play out.  By mid-day however, I was quickly moving from excited to nervous.  There had still been no word and I wasn’t sure it was okay to call him.  To my mind, that was almost like stalking the poor dude especially as he said HE would contact me once he knew his plans.  So I waited.

Late afternoon rolled round and by this point, I had lost all hope that I was seeing him. In an effort not to be completely bummed out, I decided to spend some time with my friends.  It was an arrangement that kept me busy but that I could get out of at a moment’s notice.  It also meant I was checking my phone every few seconds.

To be completely honest, I was beyond bummed out. I was disheartened.  I had thought he cared enough to let me know even if he couldn’t make it. I guess I was wrong.  My friends did a fantastic job of keeping me preoccupied and entertained.  Unfortunately for them though, all I wanted to do was talk about him. They patiently listened and comforted me.

Throughout though, I didn’t completely lose hope that he would call. I decided to take a drive with my friends to stop myself from being obsessive.  At this stage I had moved from being nervous to a blank state of mind. I couldn’t believe the situation I found myself in so I deleted the whole thing from my mind’s hard-drive.  An hour later I checked my phone and saw missed calls from an unknown number.  The calls are accompanied by a text message.  It was from the hot guy asking me to call him.  So I did. Only to be told I had called too late. In an effort not to be angry/moody/nagging I said it was no problem. I was out with friends anyway so no issue.  I decided to leave it and put a brave face on it.  I was despairing but there was no need for him to know that.  Later that night, I decided to call him just to talk through it because it bugged me like you wouldn’t believe.

This is the bit of the story that has me in a spin.  He accused ME of being the reason the day’s plans didn’t go ahead.  WHAT?!? Am I in some alternate universe? Is this dude drunk on some cheap wine? How could I possibly be the issue here? I have been, to my mind, very understanding and fair.

I couldn’t even be angry. He sounded extremely upset and this caused my mood move from okay to murderous.  For all intensive purposes, I didn’t kill him seeing as it was over the phone but it did cause me to pause and think.

I’ve heard it said that men and women think differently.  I’ve never argued this point but for creatures who are supposed to be logical, some of the guys I’ve come across can be irrational as hell.  Maybe there was other stuff going on with him I wasn’t aware of. Maybe he was bummed out about his plans. Or maybe he was just playing the classic ‘transference of energy’ game.  All I know is it took all I had not to smash the phone into the wall whilst picturing it was his head I was playing with!

To put things into context, I have since moved on.  But thinking about it in retrospect, I am forced to laugh at how emotionally wound up I was. I liked him so much that I had allowed all common sense to jump out of the window.

I’m still trying to figure out what goes on in men’s heads but for now, I think staying away from them in an order to re-group and gather my free-falling emotions would be wiser.  I am open to words of wisdom for those out there that have any though. Maybe I just need to be schooled in the world of men. Goodness. Sounds like I’m in for the ride of my life. I had better hold on tight!

6 Comments »

  • tvguy said:

    Thinking. It’s always the same thing. To think is to go insane.

    Sent via Blackberry

  • atv tire guy said:

    You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

    Sent from my iPad 4G

  • frontierville said:

    Carefully sunk and not gift up on dentists

  • ink cartridge said:

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