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Playing with fire

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Ignition of match, with smoke on blackThe game of love is a funny one. One minute you’re single and wanting a partner. The moment u find a possible guy/girl, you never want it to end. With someone on the same page as you (well that is if you guys move past the ‘it’s complicated’ stage) you hold on tight. Inevitably though you end up taking some things for granted but all in all you are happy to have transitioned from aloneness to togetherness. Surely this will last.

 Then it doesn’t. One party walks away. Decides actually they want to be single. “I enjoyed receiving from u but I don’t wanna give and I’ve decided to explore other options”. The other party is left devastated. Hurt. Angry. Hurt. Confused. Dejected.

 It’s a cycle I’ve seen play out over and over again. I’ve experienced it and watch others go through varying degrees of it. Yet we put ourselves through it over and over again – why??? Surely like the kid who touches a hot iron and learns the error of their actions, we should all know that this love thing is painful. Downright torturous. So why do we keep going back for more?

 I have no theories to share just an observation to make. I’ve always been of the mind to leave the love thing alone. It was safer that way. Yet I got swept off my feet by someone I thought was different. I allowed myself to forget the previous failed attempt @ finding a partner. I allowed myself believe his sweet words. His promises of forever. I believed the hype. And like with anything else that’s overrated, I felt the depths of disappointment when my expectations were flushed down the gutter.

 But now there’s someone new. Well several people as the case goes. And I find myself considering the possibility of re-engaging. Of delving into the pool @ the deepest end I can find. Now I’m no sucker for pain. I shy away from it – in fact I flee as quickly as my short legs can take me. Yet I’m pausing in my flight long enough to consider the new options presenting themselves to me.

 So what is it? I need help in figuring this out. Am I just misogynistic by nature? Or am I now one of those dreaded people who’s addicted to the pleasure that comes with having someone love u – even if it’s for a short while? Insanity – that’s what I call it. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result. But what’s a girl to do when I’m surrounded by all this fineness??? Help RWers … Save me from myself because right now, I run the danger of being burnt all over again!!

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